this is about as funny as I can get on Plurk… from Luna Tick’s thread on zombies http://www.plurk.com/m/p/67jg4
a taste (edited for this post and for brevity):
TheTick247 shares I just got a random spam IM: “John McCain may be secretly working for the Zombies. Can we really afford to take that chance?”
janechin that’s a concern…. although zombies are an inclusive group. they eat everyone.
janechin zombie autophagy is a rarely dealt with problem, due to social stigma, and lack of a zombie advocate/activist group.
TheTick247 asks so janechin what you’re saying it that the Zombies need lobyists?
janechin ah… it requires a more concerted coordinated effort, starting with a zombie rights blog, maybe a zombie social network. hey isn’t there a zombie app on facebook already? leverage that, build a grassroots base. to start!
TheTick247 I guess one thing Zombies have going for them is that they don’t need healthcare benefits
janechin but they do - in case one of them spontaneously reverts to pre-zombie state, need IV zombie-enzyme supplementation. healthcare=big issue.
TheTick247 wow, Zombies really do need their own grass-roots campaign, I never realized how many challenges they face everyday
janechin when your diet consists of only human flesh, and you take a look at your living conditions, it’s no wonder zombies buckle under pressure.
TheTick247 wonders if Zombies suffer from scurvy.
janechin i’m sure scurvy is one of a myriad conditions zombies suffer from. human flesh is a poor source of vitamin C, the staple of zombie diet.
TheTick247 high cholesterol too, no doubt since we’re all getting fat(tier).
janechin i’m glad you reminded me, Tick - cardiovascular disease and metabolic syndrome are both on the rice for zombies, and in fact, in 2007, CDC released a retrospective study that suggested that heart disease has infact, become the #1 killer of zombies - not gunshot wounds to heads.
TheTick247 …I’d imagine lead poisoning is a big issue for them, what with all of the gun violence aimed at them.
janechin Tick that is why many zombie advocates (not yet organized) have long demanded gun control, and also some have looked to drive up prices of copper, which are often used in making bullets. some have bought up silver mining stocks to stem the production of silver bullets.
TheTick247 says that explians a lot of the metal comodity price increases recently.
janechin ohmygosh don’t even get me started on the metal cartels… some zombies have created a blackmarket, selling metal at high prices to their human enemies - who use this to make bullets to kill their fellow zombies! the shame!
TheTick247 oh the humanity! wait…no, that’s not right. Zombanity, maybe?
janechin take note. million zombie march to take place nov 5th 2008 washington dc. be there or be eaten.
TheTick247 um…if you’re there, wouldn’t it be a given that you WOULD be eaten? Just sayin’.
janechin shhhh! you’re ruining the whole plan!!!!!
